Ash cloud over Sakurajima

I didn't mean for it to take me this long to post another entry, but I've actually been rather busy! It's nice for a change of pace :) I guess I'll start with the good things that have been going on and then move on to the not-so-good... I went to a club last night! I've never been clubbing before. It was an interesting experience, but I had fun! I just wish I was better at loosening up and getting over myself :( But, I did a whole lot better than I thought I ever would. Heck, just being there was a positive thing for me. Maybe if I drank like everyone else it would be easier? Speaking of not drinking, it's always interesting seeing the looks on peoples faces when I tell them I don't drink hahaha. Not only do I not like the taste, but I also have medical reasons for not drinking. Nehma was the one who invited me to go. I'm glad she did :) I feel like it also gave people a chance to see that I'm not a complete recluse.  And, I've actually made a really great friend in Nehma. I don't make friends easily, so that makes me really happy <3
Let's see other good things... I'm finally getting rid of all of my Japanese the Spoken Language books! My friend Hannah has to have them for when she starts grad school at Ohio State. I feel bad that she has to use them to teach, but I'm glad they're not mine anymore hahaha. Those are some of the worst Japanese text books I've ever used. Dr. Takatori at GSU swore by them ~_~; At least at GSU we at least started learning how to write kana in our first year; apparently at Ohio State they don't even start learning how to write until second year. Absolutely ridiculous. I will never ever forget my teacher justifying the use of romaji because it was faster to write in roman characters and how during second year we were still allowed to use romaji on tests...
I've also started planning a trip to Okinawa for sometime in June! I haven't made my reservations yet, but I'm going to soon. It's getting hot outside and I'm starting to get beach vibes. I could go to the beach here in Kagoshima (and I probably will), but what better place than the gorgeous white beaches of Okinawa? It'll be a fun adventure, I think :)

I guess it's time for the not-so-good things? I found out I have to do a 20-30 minute presentation at the end of June for the English language department. I'm not even good at short 5-10min ones in front of a small class. How am I going to do a 20-30min one in front of an audience?? I already feel sick just thinking about it. When I first got the email, I had a panic attack :( "Don't worry" my advisor says... That's easy for him to say -_-; He also mentioned getting drunk afterwards... Unfortunately, I will probably need the drink prior to the presentation. After the fact will do me no good...
I'm also having some problems in the classes that I'm taking with the general population of Japanese students. It's not that they're hard, more that it just takes me so long to understand what's going on. Especially in American&European Culture Course Basics... That class is mostly a group project, but I feel so useless and stupid in it. I feel bad for my group members. I guess I've got it better than Nehma does in that class though, my group members may not include me in the actual work, but they do try to make conversation with me. And then, in Kotoba wo Migaku, I just feel stupid. It's like, I understand a bit of what the lectures are about, but I don't have a good enough command of Japanese and vocabulary to actually express myself. It's really discouraging, because I just feel stupid. It doesn't help that I go from stupidly easy language classes (I'm not even going to bring up that culture class...) to these two actually really challenging classes. And I'm glad for the challenge! I just need some kind of coping mechanism to get over the fact that I feel, and probably sound, like an idiot. I'm just hoping I don't end up failing either of them and I really don't want to let my group members down, they all seem like really nice people. I just wish I could help them more... :(