I haven't really been feeling myself the past couple of days (though this could very easily be the fact that TOM is supposed to come next week). I've just been feeling really... down? It doesn't help that I almost feel like I've been backed into a corner. If that makes sense? I'm starting to feel bad for turning down invitations when I get asked to hang out with people, but everyone always wants to go out at night. I like my down time at night, if you want to hang out ask me to go to lunch or something. Also, why does it always have to be nomikai and/or nomihoudai. I don't drink and I have absolutely no intentions on paying for someone else to drink. I understand that drinking is not required, but if all I'm getting is a coke then all I better be paying for is my coke. Part of the reason I'm enjoying not having a bike (or a phone honestly) is the fact that no one can "bully" me into going. Part of me is also afraid of being dragged out to someplace I don't know and then not being able to find my way back home... I don't even feel like I can get my thoughts out properly... Does all this make me "antisocial"?  Even if it does, I don't really care. I know I'm perfectly capable of being social and making friends, I'm just choosy about who, when, and where.  Whatever, I guess I should just do what my dad keeps telling me to do "screw'em all, you're an American" hahaha. I still wish I wasn't the only American here though...

I need to change the topic, I don't want to talk about bad and gloomy things. I've started making my list for what I want to do during Golden Week here in Kagoshima. I'm thinking this weekend I may go back to Amu Plaza and go shopping. I want to see about catching a movie too. Iron Man 3 comes out here tomorrow and I really want to go see it! Maybe Saturday I can get up and go there do some shopping, get some lunch, and then catch the movie (there's a movie theatre on the top floor of the shopping center). Before I leave maybe I can ride the ferris wheel :) Might go to the zoo on Monday. It's a little harder to get to, but I heard it'll be worth it. My teacher today just said not to go on Children's Day. I still have my morning class to go to on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, but it'll be easy enough to ride the tram to the Aquarium after class one day and go back to the Amu Plaza area to go to the Meiji Restoration Museum. I'm looking forward to exploring these areas on my own :3 When I'm out with other people sometimes I feel bad about looking at things that I'd normally look out ._. I don't want to feel shamed for liking something. After I got a lot of "oh you went to akihabara? are you an otaku?" comments, I don't really like letting people know about some of the anime that I like. Especially Macross... People probably already think I'm crazy enough for my obsession with cats hahaha.